Why should I postpone my hurt?

I wasn’t trying to love you.

It happened quietly. 
Between the long days,
late night conversations,
and the comfort of being understood.

Somewhere between
“How was your day?” and “Goodnight,”
you became the person
I instinctively reached for.

Then you told me,
Your heart was waiting. 
Waiting where I could never meet it

I could have stayed.
Perhaps fought. You are absolutely worth it.
I could have accepted the comfort of “almost”
My capacity to love you expands with every rising sun
But..

But Why should I postpone my hurt? 
Why borrow a few more beautiful moments
if all they buy me is a crueler goodbye?

My baby, don’t mistake my silence
for the absence of love.
I left because I was falling.

Because I knew I wouldn’t stop.
Because love deserves to be chosen, not waited for.

So I’ll miss you.

But I’d rather grieve you today
than lose myself loving you tomorrow, Aisha.